Today

I feel like shit.

Pathetic.

I hate the expectation I made.

I hate the fact that I did not listen to my best friends.
I hate being the one who flirt 
and the only respond I got is hahaha.
I feel so bad when he deleted the photo of us.
I feel so bad when he act like nothing has happened
between us in front of our friends.
I feel so bad for feeling this way.
I feel unwanted.

Just earlier this month,

my best friend ended up her relationship,

she came to my home and cried.

But this afternoon, it was vice versa,

I came to her home, and I cried.
And it wasn't because an ended relationship.
It is because I thought  I had a relationship.
The thing is he never stated that he like me,
or he want to be with me,
or even he love me.
He never mention those kind of thing unless I asked him.
When I asked him about how does he feel about me,
he told me to assume it from the thing he said and did.
He only said that he miss me.
And this is why I hate assuming.
I got it wrong.
I feel so stupid.
It's not even his fault.
It's because I hope too much in this so called relationship.
And I haven't done crying about it.
I am about to have dinner with my best friends.
I guess I will cry even louder.
Because I believe it will makes me feel better.
At time like this, I feel glad because I have my best friends around me.
An listening ears and shoulder to cry on,
that's what I need the most right now.

Note to self : the first question I should ask to the guy I like is his horoscope. if it is Aries then I should think twice. I've been involved with three Aries guy for the past year and they are mean.